Monday, May 10, 2010

Republicans Insert Name ‘Kagan’ into Speeches Opposing Obama’s Supreme Court Pick

New iPhone App Generates GOP Rhetoric

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Moments after news of President Obama’s choice for Supreme Court justice spread across Washington, congressional Republicans rushed to insert the name “Elena Kagan” into speeches opposing the President’s judicial nominee.

In the text of a speech released Sunday, hours before Ms. Kagan was selected, House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) states, “I opposed the nomination of BLANK because I believe BLANK would lead the court down a dangerous path towards judicial activism. In short, I cannot think of a worse choice for Supreme Court than BLANK.”

The anti-Kagan rhetoric was generated last week before Ms. Kagan was nominated, GOP insiders said, by using a new iPhone app called iOppose.

In other news, Study of the Neanderthal genome at UC Santa Cruz has revealed that mating between humans and Neanderthals may explain one of science’s most persistent mysteries: the existence of Glenn Beck." More at The Borowitz Report.


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