Saturday, June 29, 2013

:(

For me, this past week was a real ordeal. You know those times when you've had a personal tragedy and a painful loss, but you have to keep functioning anyway because there is no alternative? It was one of those times.

Last Friday, June 21st, I lost my beloved horse, quite unexpectedly. She was my baby, and we'd been through major changes together over the past 23 years. I can hardly remember a time in my life when she wasn't in it. Even before I had her in my life she was there, in my dreams. She was the horse I had always dreamed of having every since I was a little girl, and I have no doubt that we were destined to have each other.

I am lucky in that I still have her beautiful daughter with me, and feel so grateful that I do. She has been so sad and depressed this week, as I have been, and is obviously mourning her mom. She has never known a day without her before now, and it's a big adjustment for us both. I'm spending extra time with her, to talk to her and soothe her, which is helping her not feel as lonely.

So I'm trying to get back in the swing of things, trying to post, to read, to correspond. But everything I've seen and read about this week has been either utterly depressing or utterly enraging - or both! I know you must also go through that at times, when you feel you just can't deal with one more piece of crap being hurled at you by the puppets of corporatocracy.

It's very understandable that sometimes we'd almost prefer to just avoid what's happening altogether, but then we also know that if people like us don't pay attention and speak out, who will? Far too many people seem to have no clue that what we're living in (and under) is a totalitarian regime. It may be what's known as inverted totalitarianism, but it's no less dangerous to civil liberties and personal freedom.

I 'm forging on, and you all hang in there with me. We'll keep trying to understand and respond to the bullshit out there in Bizarro World, and at the same time, find that point on the fulcrum where we can balance acute awareness with some peace, love, and joy in our personal lives. That's the trick, isn't it?

4 Comments:

Blogger D. said...

My deepest sympathies for your loss.

(I have more than once closed a window full of tabs because OMG not today--er, this week--er, this month.)

11:03 AM  
Blogger Anna Van Z said...

Thanks so much!

(I hear ya!)

11:06 AM  
Blogger Dredd said...

Condolences Anna.

12:35 PM  
Blogger Anna Van Z said...

Thanks, Dredd!

12:52 PM  

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