I'm sitting here waiting for the AT&T tech to arrive and repair the DSL line, but all I can think about is the vet visit I have coming up this afternoon. I'll be taking Goober, a cat I was given several years ago when he was just a kitten. He was supposed to be a temporary foster, but like other cats I care for/end up with, his person was not able to come back for him, or his siblings. I had taken them in so she could enter a DV shelter, and she wanted to get the kitties out of the abusive situation, also.
Sometimes life feels overwhelming and out of control for victims of abuse, and I understand that. I'm just glad she got herself and the kitties out of there, and wherever she is, I wish her well. I think she knew I would have never dumped her kitties at the pound. Besides, I fell in love with them (as usual!). Goober is the sweetest, most loving kitty you could imagine. He got his name because he was such a silly, playful little goober who always made me laugh, and who could be counted on to snuggle under my hair and give me little kitty kisses. It was definitely a mutual love-fest from the get-go!
Goober is now at the end stage of Feline Leukemia, and the time has come where the right thing to do is to help him leave this world. He is ready, but I am not. I'm never, ever ready for this, and the lump in my throat feels like a tennis ball. But it's not about me, it's about him, and what he would choose for himself if he could. I believe he is telling me this, with every means of communication that he has. He is trusting me to help him - because he knows I love him dearly, knows I am his ally and protector, no matter what.
So somehow I have to get myself together, and get him ready for this last visit to the vet. I need to be his loving friend one more time.
Gotta go.
Sometimes life feels overwhelming and out of control for victims of abuse, and I understand that. I'm just glad she got herself and the kitties out of there, and wherever she is, I wish her well. I think she knew I would have never dumped her kitties at the pound. Besides, I fell in love with them (as usual!). Goober is the sweetest, most loving kitty you could imagine. He got his name because he was such a silly, playful little goober who always made me laugh, and who could be counted on to snuggle under my hair and give me little kitty kisses. It was definitely a mutual love-fest from the get-go!
Goober is now at the end stage of Feline Leukemia, and the time has come where the right thing to do is to help him leave this world. He is ready, but I am not. I'm never, ever ready for this, and the lump in my throat feels like a tennis ball. But it's not about me, it's about him, and what he would choose for himself if he could. I believe he is telling me this, with every means of communication that he has. He is trusting me to help him - because he knows I love him dearly, knows I am his ally and protector, no matter what.
So somehow I have to get myself together, and get him ready for this last visit to the vet. I need to be his loving friend one more time.
Gotta go.
posted by Anna Van Z at 1:53 PM
3 Comments:
It's going on 7p now, and I'm still sitting here waiting for the AT&T guy. Goober's body is in his carrier, waiting to be buried. Which I can't do at the moment, because I don't dare go out back to dig and risk missing their person.
When I called AT&T and finally managed to get an actual person, I learned that the technician had stated in his log that he had been here, talked to me, and fixed the line. Which of course is a bald-faced lie. They claimed they would try to get someone else out tonight, but I'm not holding my breath.
So I'm sitting here with puffy eyes, puffy nose, and puffy lips, trying to speak to a supervisor, who oddly enough can't quite ever make it to the phone; my head is throbbing beyond belief, and I'm about ready to shoot Mr. power tool guy next door. Oh, and I'll probably be digging a big muddy hole well past dark, so I can enjoy even more bug bites than I already have.
Goddamn, this day has just SUCKED!
A long time ago, when I was still married to my ex-wife, she brought home a little kitten. The little gray-and-white tabby wasn't any more than eight weeks old. I'd never had a cat in my life; I'd only had dogs growing-up and didn't know the first thing about caring for such a little ball o' fur. We named her Katie, after a little primer book called Katie the Cat that my wife had found in a garage or estate sale somewhere. Initially I didn't want Katie, but she grew on me and I guess I grew on her, because eventually she really became my cat. I did most of the care-giving -- the feeding, the changing of her litter, playing with her, buying her favorite foods and taking her to the vet when she needed her check-ups and when she got sick. She became my cat.
A few years later, I was entrenched in my career and traveling around the country essentially every week. One Friday night I returned home from a trip and discovered that my wife had left me; cleaned out the house and all of my belongs except for my clothes and...you guessed it...Katie.
An opportunity came along soon after my eventual divorce to leave the hell-hole of a state I was living in and move to the east coast to establish a branch office. I took it, the clothes from my closet, and Katie with me. She lived with me until I had to put her down eight years ago, a few months shy of her 19th birthday. It was one of the toughest days of my life.
There's nothing I can say that will take the pain away that you're feeling right now. I wish you well in the coming days. They will be some of the hardest to get through. Take care of yourself and know that I understand.
Hey,thanks for thinking of me. I'm drinking my first Monty Python Holy Grail Ale - yes, it's real, and it's pretty damn good. I was in a gourmet market in a neighboring county on Sunday, and bought that plus a blonde ale from the Leffe Abbey in Belgium, and of course, a Red Brick Blond. Next time I'm gonna also try Dead Guy Ale.
But since I almost never drink, I'm already tipsy. It feels good though, because I feel like shit.
And this ale is g-o-o-d....
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